I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.