the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize