All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.