fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.