these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
