Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again