We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.