I have surprise drugs for everyone
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no