I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs