He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped