I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together