If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.