During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?