Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.