she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.