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Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
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