It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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