she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.