... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.