Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"