Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"