This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.