She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag