I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick