Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!