just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"