And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
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Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.