Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
