i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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