Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
