On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.