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Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
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