also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.