Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have poison ivy on my dick
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.