I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that