She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon