I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything