I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.