Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (828)

Last Night in North Carolina (828)

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(828): View more from North Carolina

HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.

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TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT

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(828): HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS. (336): TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT http://tfl.nu/5rl9

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They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.

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(828): They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal. http://tfl.nu/hfw2

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Slow dancing with the chandelier.

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(828): Slow dancing with the chandelier. http://tfl.nu/w34r

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No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry

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Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302

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(828): No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry (828): Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302 http://tfl.nu/twph

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I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.

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(828): I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know. http://tfl.nu/l3hv

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In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier

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(828): In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier http://tfl.nu/71e3

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you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?

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Sobriety and mild self-respect

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(336): you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs? (828): Sobriety and mild self-respect http://tfl.nu/8vbm

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Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream

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(828): Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream http://tfl.nu/n2ta

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NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE

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(828): NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE http://tfl.nu/lvmw

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I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.

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(828): I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since. http://tfl.nu/iexd

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I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.

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(828): I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water. http://tfl.nu/12pc

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I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.

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(828): I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders. http://tfl.nu/hyyp

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I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.

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(828): I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w8gt

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and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.

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(828): and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY. http://tfl.nu/xi75

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Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..

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(828): Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask.. http://tfl.nu/ioqq

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Last Night in North Carolina (828)

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