I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
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DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
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This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.