Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman