I have tasted many bathrooms
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.