I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I can't put those talents on a resume
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet