I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
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You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
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My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.