Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (585)

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  (585): View more from New York

  So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?

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  (585): So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar? http://tfl.nu/e57l
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  lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time

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  (585): lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time http://tfl.nu/tppe
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  I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out

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  (585): I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out http://tfl.nu/5zzk
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  My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on

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  (585): My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on http://tfl.nu/yfb6
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  bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning

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  oh god.. jail?

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  better, on the catwalk of the auditorium

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  (585): bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning (1-585): oh god.. jail? (585): better, on the catwalk of the auditorium http://tfl.nu/ulvj
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  You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!

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  (585): You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura! http://tfl.nu/nzmy
  Replies (15) Good night (2452) Bad night (374)
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  Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.

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  (585): Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably. http://tfl.nu/akzi
  Replies (6) Good night (1980) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back

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  (585): She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back http://tfl.nu/7ssu
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  He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."

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  (585): He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry." http://tfl.nu/vnva
  Replies (25) Good night (1526) Bad night (341)
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  Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right

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  Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15

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  hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos

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  (585): Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right (631): Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15 (585): hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos http://tfl.nu/8bsi
  Replies (7) Good night (1890) Bad night (332)
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  Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.

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  (585): Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now. http://tfl.nu/sd9m
  Replies (3) Good night (578) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.

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  I hate you.

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  To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.

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  (314): My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers. (585): I hate you. (314): To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me. http://tfl.nu/wpxa
  Replies (23) Good night (2839) Bad night (295)
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  I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.

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  (585): I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town. http://tfl.nu/h13y
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  20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.

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  (585): 20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me. http://tfl.nu/kxs1
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  Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.

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  (585): Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future. http://tfl.nu/yjl5
  Replies (4) Good night (1340) Bad night (288) Order T-Shirt