i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Umm I'm too high to move.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's