I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just blew my weed a kiss
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?