We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
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Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
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Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.