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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
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