Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Just high enough for therapy.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid