I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
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When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
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I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Can I color on your dick again?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"