Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Alaska (907)

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...

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  (907): Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning... http://tfl.nu/hr8v
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  I've ID'd the nipple biter.

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  (907): I've ID'd the nipple biter. http://tfl.nu/u45n
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  You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.

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  (907): You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield. http://tfl.nu/kh6y
  Replies (7) Good night (1932) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.

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  (907): Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen. http://tfl.nu/l4cq
  Replies (11) Good night (3265) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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  I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess

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  (907): I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess http://tfl.nu/1h29
  Replies (25) Good night (3663) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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  I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.

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  (907): I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex. http://tfl.nu/ckwf
  Replies (9) Good night (2541) Bad night (1177) Order T-Shirt
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  She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.

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  (907): She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone. http://tfl.nu/lil1
  Replies (7) Good night (3563) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

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  (907): We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke. http://tfl.nu/z4fd
  Replies (19) Good night (6432) Bad night (1449)
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  I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.

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  (907): I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar. http://tfl.nu/wjyf
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  He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since

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  (907): He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since http://tfl.nu/78cc
  Replies (2) Good night (2345) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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  The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.

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  (907): The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door. http://tfl.nu/z046
  Replies (6) Good night (1837) Bad night (1459) Order T-Shirt
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  I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.

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  (907): I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out. http://tfl.nu/os26
  Replies (17) Good night (3830) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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  I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.

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  (907): I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/8kf2
  Replies (13) Good night (4232) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.

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  (907): I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer. http://tfl.nu/7gfq
  Replies (13) Good night (3767) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
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  HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!

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  (907): HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?! http://tfl.nu/krsv
  Replies (30) Good night (1023) Bad night (6760) Order T-Shirt