We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The chlamydia really affected his face.