Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
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WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
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I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!