Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15