Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass