When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.