if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
