so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
