Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home