Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.